Joto dosh! Nando Ghosh!

Each time I sit back and publish a segment to my blog it is when something within energizes me to write my experience. I write what I feel I need to write. Sometimes an irrelevant thought sparks memories that influence an enormous amount of nostalgia and it does not take long to reminisce all that has transpired during the yore. The excessive summer months of Faridabad (a small city near Delhi) and the manner in which we spent them tending to so many things. Things that would have no relevance in today’s world, but when you live those years again they bring back such vivid and exciting memories. My sister, and I grew up with disciplined, protective, and very loving parents. They never took us to those gorgeous snow-clad Himalayas for an exotic summer vacation but took deep interest in all the small and little innocent things we did as kids. Dad who is a pillar to my existence always taught us the difference between good and bad in a very subtle way. Any time we indulged in verbal fight, he without raising his voice would tell us, ‘When speaking to people, say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't be mean when you say it.’ Frankly I could barely understand what he meant by that then.

Today, in this moment I stand here and wonder, how easy it is for people especially Indian by origin and ‘married’ or ‘taken’ by fate to be mean to those who are single (either by choice or destiny). Much easy to let the reins of their galloping imaginations and conjectures loose and indulge in suppositions, presumptions, or lame, insecure, and limp judgment to enlighten themselves for a moment. Those weak accusation if smashed to the ground shall break into pieces and would never be put together again... But yes, it is easy to stand behind protective walls (I mean the current and respective spouse) and throw all the garbage you possibly can on the other side - you would never have to clean up the mess yourself. Ruthless Reality! I invite those lovely people to come on my side and live this life... walk on fire to save dignity, safeguard pride, and brave the harsh arrows. No, those people would not have the courage to do so, hence the easiest is to stand tall and talk of one issue, one incident, cast an opinion, make a remark or get judgmental. All that is seen and heard and spoken of, has a flip side to it too. I with all my heart pity those who royally ignore that side before reaching to conclusion. At times I wonder why the butt of every accusation eventually comes and rests on my back. SAD!!! What exists is the fact that the soft spoken gentle voice of reason and reality invariably gets submerged in the loud and meaningless volume of assumptions. Fair enough!!

I was reading a friend’s blog and came across a famous saying in Bengali - Joto dosh! Nando Ghosh! For every fault and for every error, it is always Mr. Nando Ghosh. Basically a sarcasm on life and the way some of us allow it to function. The skill lies in how best to pass the buck on to that one vulnerable person. Peg all on him, build the circumstances, and then dig his grave and bury him. CAUTION - Bury him, but never completely. You may need to pull it out again to plug another accusation over it. Put it all over this sucker! It shall be more believable and convincing.

Yes, it is mean but so convenient!!!

After all these years I have lived and while I am geographically away from my parents, I value every single word that my mom and dad lived up to each day flawlessly. Dad always said, ‘There is nothing more valuable than peace and harmony and that your worth and your credibility shall be devoured by the vastness of the earth that you walk upon! And if there are those, who have objections to this practice, they are not obliged to be part of your life.’ Here’s my special thanks to those few friends who inspired me enough to go through this so I could write this piece.

I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning. Glad that the day is almost over. So, help me God, it is a fascinating world. Life is delightful and shamelessly harsh too. Tomorrow is a day of love and expectations; of argument and belief; of playing hard and soft simultaneously. Shower your GRACE so I can face every mistake and submit to it.

I acknowledge those that stay with me in thought and belief, in prayers and despair. Wish them a happy and blessed life!

The good things in life...

The travel bug hit me in my teens and hasn't really left since then. I can probably not be called globetrotter crossing the world over and over again, but I enjoy new experiences, cultures and people. If I had the times and means I'm sure I would do it a lot more. Last night I went through all my photos from Miami, Orlando, NYC, Langkawi, KL, Ladakh, and Goa and just looking at them made me feel better. I could almost feel the sunshine, the cold winds, the sand, and of course taste the food and smell the plantation. Made me feel good and the good feeling is still with me though today is one of those days when you break things, drop things and can't move around without hurting yourself. Life puts so many questions. And we do not have answers to them. Absurd!!! Hahahaha!

 

Glad that the day is almost over… and nothing soothes like going back home after a busy, tiring day at work. Simple things are the best things in life and McVities Digestives are still the best biscuits. Had totally forgotten how comforting they can be along with a nice cup of tea... Having them after a long time...

 

Tomorrow is a day of expectation. Of argument and belief. Of playing hard and soft simultaneously, with a combined force that allows little space for those that demand space. It is a fascinating world! Was reading an email today which concluded like this 'As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.' How true :=)

I wish you all very good lives!

If you want to get ahead, step back... Life is all about options and not obstacles!

A strange silence descends that makes my vocals and mind quiet. There is no need for it but there is a cause. They say ‘Silence is golden’ but this time there is no mental composure or calmness and its making me uncomfortable. No explanation can justify what transpires. There is disturbance within - of both body and mind. Soul seems to be stirred and tears roll down my cheeks like molten metal and somehow this has made me succumb to this existing feeling. There is certain joy and sense of fulfillment when you have clarity of thought, word, and deed… which in this moment is missing.

 

There is a need to reject, and ignore something like an Alt + Ctrl + Del function (You control the thoughts that stir you, find an alternative and then delete all that is bothering and painful and then differentiate where you went wrong). The other aspect which is influencing my judgment is tolerance. Like someone was testing my tolerance level for a very long time and then came a moment when a certain section of my brain indicated that my resistance is about to break. I believe like everyone else around I too possess small but significant amount of tolerance, resistance, perseverance but sometimes you have to get over your insecurities, step backward, leave what’s behind you and move ahead with conviction.

After five long days I am writing again to complete this particular set. And now since I have gotten over the pain and anxiety of the entire situation, there is an unexplainable lightness in the body; the vision gets better; and the head moves with some concerted energy. I managed to protect both my conscience and character! Maybe to some it would show up as a selfish mind but I would care a damn, when my own conscience and character were to be questioned. Character does that to individuals, so does our conscience. If anyone will enter that refrain, I shall revolt.

Last Friday I was watching a football match. Though I'm not up on all the terms but I simply love the idea of it. I love to see a pass thrown so precisely that the receiver doesn't even have to look until the last second, just show up at the designated spot and open their arms. The other thing which is very impressive is that in order to get ahead you have to step back. The quarterback does it all the time! The ball is on the line of scrimmage, but gets sent back in order to move ahead.

I wish if life was that way! But in retrospect it is...

If you fail, try again. When all odds are against you, play like you're the best. Even when others appear to be winning, play like you still have a chance. Yes, doing so sometimes causes loss of yardage, but like in life, you'll never get ahead without stepping back to see where you want to go.

 

So, my take on this: If you want to get ahead, step back. Life is all about options and not about counting obstacles!

 

I wish you all very good lives.