A strange silence descends that makes my vocals and mind quiet. There is no need for it but there is a cause. They say ‘Silence is golden’ but this time there is no mental composure or calmness and its making me uncomfortable. No explanation can justify what transpires. There is disturbance within - of both body and mind. Soul seems to be stirred and tears roll down my cheeks like molten metal and somehow this has made me succumb to this existing feeling. There is certain joy and sense of fulfillment when you have clarity of thought, word, and deed… which in this moment is missing.
There is a need to reject, and ignore something like an Alt + Ctrl + Del function (You control the thoughts that stir you, find an alternative and then delete all that is bothering and painful and then differentiate where you went wrong). The other aspect which is influencing my judgment is tolerance. Like someone was testing my tolerance level for a very long time and then came a moment when a certain section of my brain indicated that my resistance is about to break. I believe like everyone else around I too possess small but significant amount of tolerance, resistance, perseverance but sometimes you have to get over your insecurities, step backward, leave what’s behind you and move ahead with conviction.After five long days I am writing again to complete this particular set. And now since I have gotten over the pain and anxiety of the entire situation, there is an unexplainable lightness in the body; the vision gets better; and the head moves with some concerted energy. I managed to protect both my conscience and character! Maybe to some it would show up as a selfish mind but I would care a damn, when my own conscience and character were to be questioned. Character does that to individuals, so does our conscience. If anyone will enter that refrain, I shall revolt.
Last Friday I was watching a football match. Though I'm not up on all the terms but I simply love the idea of it. I love to see a pass thrown so precisely that the receiver doesn't even have to look until the last second, just show up at the designated spot and open their arms. The other thing which is very impressive is that in order to get ahead you have to step back. The quarterback does it all the time! The ball is on the line of scrimmage, but gets sent back in order to move ahead.
I wish if life was that way! But in retrospect it is...
If you fail, try again. When all odds are against you, play like you're the best. Even when others appear to be winning, play like you still have a chance. Yes, doing so sometimes causes loss of yardage, but like in life, you'll never get ahead without stepping back to see where you want to go.
So, my take on this: If you want to get ahead, step back. Life is all about options and not about counting obstacles!
I wish you all very good lives.
