Looks like there is a purpose in nothingness… Nothing to do, nothing to talk, nothing to eat, nothing entering the mind, nothing to make, nothing to feel, nothing compelling, nothing to object to… and then one can either end up in nothing or else have a silent conversation with self and discover what lies in that situation and the moment!
Questions erupt at this late hour, when the world sleeps. If there is someone who could hear my silence, who could feel how I am feeling, who could make this moment alive with unadulterated laughter. With this thought, I begin to look within and realize that there is a universe within me which responds to every single and minuscule thought, emotion, action, and suffering that I undergo. It answers every question that comes to my mind. And I don’t deny for some reason I have not heard it’s lone yet profound voice. For some reason transgressed limits of tolerance, and did not respond to its responses. When it loved me, I have not loved in return. It sincerely remained constant in my inconstancy while I complained and looked through my insincerity. So, today I confess and seek forgiveness from this universe within that remained with me in happiness and in joy, shared the grief of separation and loss, joined in my exuberance through achievement, failures and disappointments, success and accomplishment, misunderstanding and assurance, ignorance and disgust, love and fear, stillness and faith, acceptance and rejection. Dwarfed by this realization and stumped by its ability to forgive I now strengthen our association. I promise to rise and travel, to build and reinforce, to let go and to live every single dream and make it a reality. Summing up with a quote I recently came across, "To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."
It is now 2010, may it embellish your life with love, faith, happiness and abundance.
Today is the day when the angels took my sister, brother-in-law, and their little princess home to God. This was probably the worst day of my life. I do not wish to remember the year they went away nor the time nor the circumstances. They just went away and forever. So far away that I cannot even try to get them back. I am with them, every single day, every single moment, whether I am happy or sad, whether I am home or out. But today I shall miss them lots. Because today I know mom, dad, and I would think of her and jeejaji and the moments we spent with them more than usual. 
‘Didi’ just two years elder to me but was some kind of strength, and strong support for me from the very beginning. Yes, she resides in our hearts, mind, and in our thoughts forever. Young, happy, cheerful, giving, practically she sits beside my mom and dad in their bedroom, on the dining table, in her favourite mauve attire and some gold jewellery… bright and angelic. I can still see her sitting in front of the TV calling out for mom. After she got married I called her every morning as I set off for the day. Today when she is above all, watching me and her little one (Aditya) I ask her to give us strength, and a close embrace... that is all! 
We were heading towards Karjat and I was quite aware of the fact that the roads in India are tough to cycle. Attempt to overtake and pushing you off the road is common and you're given little or no quarter by the bus & truck drivers (although you'll sometimes get the positive thumbs up from them when they see you struggling while going uphill). Often cars will be zooming past with only inches to spare, almost brushing the bike in their frenzied dash for liberation. With all this running on my mind and several other discussions in parallel with Gurdeep, Mitesh, and Vikram we reached Lucky’s Restaurant, Karjat. It was a pleasant site. After a good and satisfying breakfast we all got onto our bicycles... excitement was at its pinnacle and I could not miss thinking of this line by Gusteau in the movie Ratatouille "If you get stuck thinking about what you left behind or lost, you’ll never see what is in front of you." I guess life is so much like biking... To maintain the balance you have to just keep moving. With a smile on my lips and a spark in my heart I started off along with the group! 
For the initial 1km, traffic was banked up in both directions and we quietly pedalled to sneak through the cars, trucks, motorbikes, and buses. The next 25-28km was not a hard stretch of road to cycle, or maybe it was all part of the charm of the place, light weight 24 geared mountain bikes, helmets, and the high energy levels. The road went across bridges over streams, most of which were largely dry and also passed small villages with countable number of huts. Actually after a while it was just us on the road and I pedalled off, enjoying the freedom from traffic behind me. The short, quick breaks, for rest, water, and photography were neat! There's this odd phenomenon I noticed: you'll often hear "Hey!" being yelled out - in an insistent, tone. It'll either be a farmer, yelling instructions to his bullock, or some children waving, and who, on seeing you cycle past are expecting that you'll suddenly stop cycling & immediately head over to them. Sometimes they smile and exchange eye contact if you do stop & look in the direction. Frankly speaking, it was a concerning sight for us when we saw slightly slow vehicles (like a slow truck, or an old man with the bullock & cart) coming towards us. 
In parts it was quite stony bitumen with high resistance making cycling seem much harder than it should. Sometimes we even had to pedal hard downhill, as the bike won't easily roll on this stuff. In fact, it sometimes seemed I was in one of those anomalous gravitational areas you hear of, where vehicles allegedly roll uphill (yes, you got it right – ‘The Magnetic Hill, Leh’ haha I have not gotten over my Ladakh trip). Here, some roads seemed to be going uphill, but you find yourself rolling along without need for pedalling; others seem downhill but stop pedalling and you rapidly come to a halt. Spooky! It wasn't too bad though!!! 
Now the sun went down, the whole town is quiet - hardly any noise, here I am sitting in the comfort of my home post the adrenaline rush all through the day, I give profound thanks to Sumit (Below Banyan), our guides (Santosh, Bhavesh, and Akshay) and the entire group (Gurdeep, Mitesh, Suruchi, Swapnil, Vandana, Vikram, Vinay, and Vishal) for making this trip an exhilarating one. I enjoyed every single moment of it! There was a sense of freedom, and it was eventful and exciting being among the participants. Hope everyone else did too! 
The past year has been a total whirlwind, it feels like practically everything has changed. It's all terribly exciting and nerve-wracking. I live alone and have become a workaholic. With more ideas, and dreams and in all sincerity, I am very lucky. But in all this hustle bustle come Christmas time and I start missing Delhi winters… my woolen clothes, the soft quilts, my mittens, and of days when you can't leave the house without a jacket, the cold breeze on your face and hair. Look at me, now when I am writing this, I have started to miss my childhood. As kids my big sister, and I smelled like pears. Mom had some pear-scented something that she would apply so our skin stayed soft and fragrant. It did the trick and in fact each time I look at those pictures it makes me want to pinch my own cheek
I guess I have everything I want in life but, I still sense there is a big space still left to be filled. Is that the reason I am going down memory lane, or I am thinking of my home town, my days with my sister, mom, and the craft work we did together. I get interested to think of something and then am just as quickly on to the next thing… Even now, while I type this, I am also playing with my new telephoto-lens. But looks like my camera too has lost its ability to focus, as did my mind. I don't see exactly what is missing in this beautiful life and night so I would go and make some tea with ginger, cinnamon, and lemon grass. May be by then I would know what is missing… :)
Monday went off well too. All tasks at work accomplished without any bullying or complaints from the project lead. I was about to leave for the day when my thoughts were interrupted by a telephone ring… its my Mom, I know… She is a woman with a big heart and a much bigger smile! That call was to let me know that my recipe for mint-cinnamon-ice tea was good. She actually finds a reason to call me everyday exactly at 5:45pm just to check if my day at work went well. You can't fool her, she is blessed with oodles of 'Mother Instinct'!!! I reached home calm and peaceful witnessing golden sunrays being slowly replaced by silver lunar beams. This transition brought with it a temporary restlessness to me more so because a friend was suppose to visit home that evening. I gave a quick glance to check if everything was in place... Cushions, floor mat, tea lights, the glasses... finally the door bell rang, he was there at 'my little bird house' [no don't get surprised I don't live in a tree house, this is what the small wooden board outside my apartment says] Amidst all the liveliness, and distractions an hour passed too soon than I could imagine and he left. Quite a beautiful relaxed evening! 
Tuesday, it was my nephew Aditya's 10th birthday! He is far far away in terms of geography but still closer than I can imagine. He lives in my heart, his cute demands and mechanisms to melt my heart blossomed numerable thoughts. It would be still night for him, so mentally I wished all good things and got back to the series of mundane morning activities. It was like any other day with office friends, project discussions, assignments, presentations. After work the plan was to go for a movie '2012' but that somehow got cancelled and so I went for my 30-min of slow running at the nearby park. While running I made up my mind to take up a certification course in Paragliding at Kamshet (45kms from Pune) with Avi, an ex-air force fighter pilot who runs 'Temple Pilots' in sync with his wife Anita. One of my favorite song 'I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky...' seems to be manifesting. I was extremely excited so, this time that reflected in what I had for dinner... some yummy homemade chaat paapdi with fresh watermelon juice! :) 
It's Wednesday today and here I am standing by the window.